The Art of Marriage

FamilyLife has created an awesome new media and curriculum-based marriage event for use at the local and small group level called, The Art of Marriage. Hats off to Bob Lepine’s team for a first class job with their video discussion starters. This vignette is spot on!

Why I Don’t Watch TV: Reason 127

Long before I was married with children, George Gallup, Jr., of the Gallup Poll fame, said something about parenting that has stuck with me to this day. His observation is part of my 1,000 Reasons Why We Don’t Own a TV and have no plans to get one:

“If more Americans could be persuaded to carve out of their 3 or 4 hours of television viewing each day a period of 5 minutes at bedtime and use this time to ask their child a simple question — ‘How did things go today?’ — and listen, the result in terms of individual families and society as a whole could, I believe, be highly salutary.”[1]

In the almost 30 years since making that observation, I wonder how many households embraced the message. For me, I have a tendency to take things to the max. In this case, I took George’s challenge to spend 5 minutes with the kids at bedtime and expanded it to a half hour.

Our nightly routine typically includes reading to the kids for about 30 minutes from one of the classics, followed by tucking each one in bed, asking them “What was your favorite part today?”, praying a short prayer over them, and then giving them the blessing.

No, I’m not looking for a pat on the back or a reward for these attempts to be an engaged parent. Believe me, their impromptu hugs and kisses when we’re together are gratifying enough.

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[1] George Gallup, Jr., Testimony before the U.S. Senate Subcommittee on Family and Human Services, 22 March 1983.

Before There Was Slime

“You ain’t heard nothing yet.” The year, 1927. The film, The Jazz Singer. And, with those words, singer/actor Al Johnson ushered in the era of the “talkies”—talking motion pictures. His statement has proven to be prophetic.

It’s hard to believe what we’re hearing—and seeing—in popular films and on television today. Someone once said, “It took 50 years for films to go from silent to unspeakable.” I couldn’t agree more.

Just how far has Hollywood—and, in turn, we consumers—drifted from their original standards of decency?

Introduced in 1930, the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America defined basic standards of “good taste” and a list of do’s and don’t’s that previously governed the production of all films released by Hollywood.

By July 1, 1934, strict adherence to the code’s provisions were enforced. Few producers wanted to risk the wrath of the MPPDA and forfeit the Production Code Seal of approval—a sure bet your movie would never be shown on television, too.

One of the overriding principles of the original production code stated:

“No picture shall be produced which will lower the standards of those who see it. Hence the sympathy of the audience should never be thrown to the side of crime, wrongdoing, evil or sin.”

Yes, the original code used the “S”-word. Or how about this doozy:

“Excessive and lustful kissing, lustful embracing, suggestive postures and gestures, are not to be shown.”

I bet the following 10 additional provisions in the code would send our modern crop of “Follywood” producers into cardiac arrest:

Parents Just Don’t Get It

This might come as a surprise to you, but I love rap music. Give me Eminem, Snoop Dogg, or Dr. Dre any day—awwww yeah! I especially love listening to rap music when it’s played at full volume . . . three hundred miles out in the middle of the Atlantic ocean!

Okay, so I lied. I’m not really a hip hop fan.

Let’s just say I’ve never managed to get into Eminem’s whole crotch-grabbing scene. Besides, I just think his music is crap.

However, the fact that I, as a 50-something white boy, wouldn’t buy an Eminem album to save my life doesn’t mean that I have a right to sit in judgment of teenagers who do—or so I’ve been told.

And, frankly, I’m working to come to terms with that reality. You see, according to the Enlightened Ones who move among us, you and I are disqualified to make value judgments about the merits of today’s hip hop and hoodlum music industry for at least three reasons:

1)    We think a “crib” is the place where a baby sleeps

2)    We think a drive-by is hip slang for a drive-thru

3)    Wearing gold chains around our necks just gets in the way of our walkers.

The sooner you and I make peace with the fact we’re from the medieval times, the better. We’re just parents. We’re not music experts.

We’re not cool like the tattooed-gods with gold-capped teeth on MTV who drive around the streets of Hollywood in the latest armor-plated Hummer. What could we possibly know, I mean really know about the music industry? Nor are we as smart as the music editors at RollingStoned magazine or the executive vidiots at MTV who are clearly the authorities on what’s best for our children.

How To Screw Up Your Kids

Screwing up your kids has never been easier, more affordable—or more fun.

While few adults would admit they actually desire to screw up their kids, their actions speak louder than words. In reality, the overwhelming majority of blitzed American parents have abdicated their role as the primary shapers of their kids morality, virtue, and work ethic.

While this may seem problematic, thankfully an army of teachers—as well as the media elite, cultural icons, and complete strangers—are filling the void, serving as surrogate parents so you can chill out and do your own thing.

Most adults, whether they mean to or not, make choices which screw up their kids. If that’s you, don’t feel like a slug—you’re actually in good company. Indeed, you are in the growing majority of negligent adults. I say it’s time for the guilt trip to stop.

You have every right to medicate, placate, and arbitrate the peace in your home while assuaging the guilt you may feel for missing their birthdays, their school plays, their sports—or their entire childhood—in order to pursue the things that you really want.

Is Avatar A Must See?

I haven’t seen Avatar. Nor do I have plans to rush out and see it. But for those who are thinking of going, here’s a couple of reviews:

“The intense publicity surrounding the film, as well as several ecstatic early reviews, have set the bar very high. For this critic, Avatar doesn’t come anywhere near clearing that bar—not in the performances, not in the lavish visuals and certainly not in the film’s entirely derivative storytelling.

“In order to attain even a modicum of satisfaction from the film, one should see it only on a big screen, preferably in 3D. However, if you go strictly for the experience, be prepared for a gooey, New Age romance with thematic elements that will likely make you squirm. Avatar may represent the future of film visuals, but its script is strictly retro.”

To see the full review, click here.

PluggedIn film critics had this take:

“Extended scenes of near nudity (blue though it may be), intense violence and more than a little profanity pop out as much as the immersive 3-D imagery does.

“Cameron’s message in Avatar is something like this: Genocidal plunderers are devoid of spiritual enlightenment and driven by their compulsive lust for another people’s resources. Time reviewer Richard Corliss wrote of the motif, ‘This is not only the most elaborate public-service commercial for those of the tree-hugger persuasion; it’s also a call to save what we’ve got, environmentally, and leave indigenous people as they are—an argument applicable to the attempt of any nation (say, the U.S.) to colonize another land (say, Iraq or Afghanistan).’”

Get the full review here.

Have you seen it? What’s your view?

Tee Vee for Tots

This Christmas give the gift that keeps on giving: a bedside TV for your kindergartener.

For $99 bucks, your little prince or princess never has to leave the coziness of their bedroom. Thanks to advances in technology, six-year-olds can completely disengaged from the family. No more noise arguing over Legos, dolls, blocks, crayons or Hot Wheels.

With the popular line of Disney Princess and Batman 13″ color televisions—with matching “kid friendly” remote controls—kids can be king and queen of their own viewing.

I’m serious here. Why risk their well-being exploring the dangerous outdoors? Between crime, global warming, and neighborhood bullies, it’s much better to have the kiddies watching the beatings and blood from the safety of their bedside.

Forget the reports documenting the link between childhood obesity and inactivity. What do those researchers at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) know about health, anyway? Who are they to claim in a study that 2 million pre-teens and teens in the U.S. are suffering from a pre-diabetic condition due to their inactivity and obesity? Enough of the guilt trip already. This is America.

We’re talking about your child’s happiness here. Some models permit access to more than 180 channels. And, with the ever-popular sleep timer, the kiddos can awaken to the sights and sounds of the tube instead of the voices of their parents—how boring is that? Give ‘em Sponge Bob and Barney over dad and mom anyday.

I say, buy two and save . . . batteries and common sense not included.

Doctor’s Order: NO PLAYSTATION

True story.

Not long ago, a 9-year-old San Diego boy got much more than he bargained for from his Sony PlayStation at Christmas: a seizure. After endlessly zapping, whacking, and smacking things in Video Game Land, Nicholas Lavin’s head started to jerk uncontrollably backwards and forewords.

Evidently, two symptoms tipped off Nick’s mother, Barbara, that all was not well with her Video Veggie:

1) spasmodic convulsions, and
2) the little backflips his eyes were doing

At this point his mom decided a trip to the pediatrician was in order. Um, good call. It could be argued that Ms. Lavin was the one whose head needed to be examined. Why? For allowing her son to play video games for three hours at a stretch until he went into epileptic-type seizures. But I digress.

When a MRI failed to show any other cause for the severe twitching,

All The News that Fits

When we watch the evening news, read a blog or newspaper, or listen to radio news, we voluntarily give the control of our senses over to the producer of what we’re reading or watching. In other words, we can learn only what he or she wants us to know. His or her ideals, values, priorities—yes, their world-life view dominates the story.

Why is this important?

Because the value system of the reporter or newscaster determines the slant—or bias—that a story will ultimately reflect. This process is especially dangerous when the slant masquerades behind the pretense of “news.”

For example, if a journalist personally agrees with the notion of global warming, he’ll be inclined to produce a “news” story which leads the viewer to share in that perspective.

There’s virtually no way to be neutral on such a hot topic, even for a journalist. Either you believe Al Gore’s theory of global warming is a scientific fraud, or you agree with him that cow flatulence is contributing to the thinning of the ozone layer and should be taxed.

Of course, if you believe farmers should be taxed for cow farts, then you better be willing to tax White Castle for their gas-producing burgers. If not discerning, it’s possible to start believing some pretty wild stuff.

Sarah vs. Shatner in Late Show Smackdown

The smackdown last night between Sarah Palin and William Shatner on the Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien was priceless. I like Captain Kirk. Always have. I’m not sure what his political leanings are these days.

But when it comes to media bias, this contest between the Starship Enterprise captain and the moose hunting former Gov. of Alaska was one of the rare moments on television when someone with Palin’s conservative position was given the upper hand in an exchange. Maybe there’s hope for TV after all.

Video available here.