Tee Vee for Tots

Posted: 12/19/2009 in Parenting, Television

This Christmas give the gift that keeps on giving: a bedside TV for your kindergartener.

For $99 bucks, your little prince or princess never has to leave the coziness of their bedroom. Thanks to advances in technology, six-year-olds can completely disengaged from the family. No more noise arguing over Legos, dolls, blocks, crayons or Hot Wheels.

With the popular line of Disney Princess and Batman 13″ color televisions—with matching “kid friendly” remote controls—kids can be king and queen of their own viewing.

I’m serious here. Why risk their well-being exploring the dangerous outdoors? Between crime, global warming, and neighborhood bullies, it’s much better to have the kiddies watching the beatings and blood from the safety of their bedside.

Forget the reports documenting the link between childhood obesity and inactivity. What do those researchers at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) know about health, anyway? Who are they to claim in a study that 2 million pre-teens and teens in the U.S. are suffering from a pre-diabetic condition due to their inactivity and obesity? Enough of the guilt trip already. This is America.

We’re talking about your child’s happiness here. Some models permit access to more than 180 channels. And, with the ever-popular sleep timer, the kiddos can awaken to the sights and sounds of the tube instead of the voices of their parents—how boring is that? Give ’em Sponge Bob and Barney over dad and mom anyday.

I say, buy two and save . . . batteries and common sense not included.

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